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Chapter 5: We're Plugged Back in?
"Graaaah!" Ralph growled as he tossed a chunk of Rallen's house at the ever-swarming crowd of Orks. Ever since Ralph had accidentally wrecked a hole in Rallen's house, he had just been tearing it bit by bit and throwing it at the creatures to try and slow them down. Rallen winced as another piece of his beautiful shelter was torn apart. Ironically, it was for their own protection. The piece toppled over the entire crowd of the Orks causing them to disintegrate in place. Ralph grabbed another chunk and prepared to chuck it as the Orks quickly respawned back into position.
"They keep respawning Ralph, this really has no point..." Rallen sighed. An Ork that had snuck up on the two suddenly roared and raised a fist to try and crush Rallen. Before Ralph could react, Rallen had already sliced the Ork in two with his sword. Off in the crowd of Orks, the same Ork respawned back, grinning and pointing at Rallen.
"I could be wrong, but that was probably a bad idea." Ralph said solemnly, tossing the chunk at the Orks again.
"Could is an overstatement. Seriously though, why did you have to come in here!"
Ralph turned over to look at Rallen and put a hand around his back. Rallen tensed up a little and looked over at Ralph.
"When I was having trouble with my job, you know, being a bad guy, I really didn't know where to go. There aren't any good anons in the building... so why else would you have come down to the meeting?" Ralph explained, causing Rallen to gasp slightly and bow his head.
"Yeah..." He muttered under his breath.
"I can tell that you hate your job. I mean, this... excuse me for a moment-"
Ralph thrust his hands into the floor of Rallen's house and pulled up a huge amount of tiles. With a loud heave he tossed them all into the Orks, again causing them to respawn.
"Is a pretty crappy job." Ralph chuckled slightly. Rallen opened his mouth to make a come-back, but shook his head. He couldn't find a reason to defend his job.
"I mean... the people in this town love me, they do. And I like that. But, I really wish I could be a hero without having to live in mortal terror." He quietly admitted. Ralph's face softened, and he gave Rallen a little pat on the back.
"Well, I wrecked your game just to hear that, I suppose I owe you an apology as well. I'm sorry."
"Darn right you are." Rallen grimaced.
"Why don't these guys just leave the game anyways? I'm sure they don't want to live in here forever, maybe that's why they're always trying to destroy the village!" Ralph suggested. Rallen suddenly froze and began to frantically point behind Ralph.
"I know this routine. They're right behind me... man, ALRIGHT, do your worst!" Ralph groaned, putting his hands up in the air. He turned around and let out a little yelp as a helmet came across his face and whacked him to the side.
"Listen Ralph, going Turbo once is enough, but twice? I ought to enlist you into my squad and discharge you right off of the tower!" Sgt. Calhoun furiously snapped.
"Tammy!" Ralph smiled. His smile was swiftly met with another helmet to the face. As he wiped his cheek from the pain, he leaned over to see a happy-looking Felix standing behind Calhoun.
"Hey Brother!" Ralph grinned, giving Felix a little wave. Felix went to wave back but quickly crossed his arms and put on a fake scowl.
Q*Bert hoped over beside Felix and saluted Ralph with his mouth.
"$%$@@$@$. @$^&$#^%! ^&$&^$.... ^%&^^, (*&^%$#^. ^%$#$%^$%#, $%$$^$^%$^. $%$^. &^%&^." Q*Bert said to Ralph. Tamora looked down at her translator. To her shock, it didn't even know what Q*Bert had said.
"Not now brother, we're both very very upset-" Felix began.
Calhoun nudged him with her knee.
"Angry-"
Q*Bert kicked him in the foot.
"Incredibly mad at you!"
There was an awkward silence as everyone slowly turned their gaze over to Calhoun, who was the only one who seemed to actually have a reason to be upset at Ralph. While he had game jumped, there was nothing wrong with game jumping into other games during after hours. If anything, no one should be mad at Ralph!.
"Excuse me..." Rallen began to say, pointing towards the area with the Orks.
"Not now Rallen. Look, Tammy, I'm really sorry that I left my game and everything because I can and I didn't do anything wrong. So very very sorry." Ralph apologized, faking every word that he said, "But we have to help these people, everyone here is in terrible danger!"
Felix looked around the seemingly empty village. It didn't seem to be in trouble.
"People..." Rallen began again.
"Not now Rallen." Ralph snapped back. Rallen plugged his ears and began to pace back and forth. He still hated it when people repeated themselves.
"Listen Ralph, where do you think Mr. Litwak could have afforded to buy a game like Hero's Duty." said Calhoun, who menacingly leaned in to Ralph, causing him to gulp. Felix hoped over beside the two and raised an ear to listen, and Q*Bert jumped onto Felix's head so he could listen too.
"The seller was insane?" Ralph shrugged. Calhoun shook her head and looked over at Rallen who was still frantically pointing to the Orks.
"It was a bargain sale! Holy Hotcakes, use your brain pixel-head!" Calhoun growled, threatening to hit Ralph again with her helmet, "Hero's Duty came from the same arcade as this one did! Where else would you think that Mr. Litwak was getting all of these new hot-shot games. Greetings Rallen."
"Hi Tamora, but but but," Rallen stuttered.
"No coconuts Caliber, this is serious business." Said Calhoun. She looked over to where Rallen was pointing and didn't see anything standing there. She shrugged casually, but Ralph gasped and put his massive hands over his head.
"They're gone!" Ralph cried.
"I've been trying to tell you that for the past 5 minutes!" Rallen snapped.
"Anything you need fixing Mr. Caliber?" Felix asked politely. Q*Bert bowed his head and let out a @@$!.
"Tamora, you remember the Orks, don't you?"
"Darn right I do, those piggish pigeon brains... almost as mindless as a cold, dirty Cy-Bug." Calhoun said while gritting her teeth.
"Well, a whole group of them were standing right over there, and now they're gone!"
Everyone else turned around to see the area that Rallen was talking about, but suddenly froze to feel the hot breath of something running down their neck.
"Now they're behind me, right?" Ralph quietly sighed to Rallen. Calhoun let out a battlecry and began to blast the whole crowd of Orks with her gun, causing bits and pieces of Ork body parts to fly all over the heroes and drench them in goop that would quickly pixelate away. Calhoun panted and put her gun back into the holster, but gasped to see that all of the Orks had respawned back to their original position.
"Holy Pizza-Topping," Calhoun gasped in horror, "I forgot about that part."
"Yeah, heh heh. I wonder if they even know they've been plugged in!" Rallen chuckled.
"We've been WHAT!" An Ork who was trying to ambush them again from behind cried. Rallen winced slightly and looked away from all of the evil glances that he was getting from Ralph and the others. Before anyone could respond, a giant black cloak of darkness blanketed the group in a second. Ralph tried to struggle, but found that the more he moved, the less he could move. All he could hear were the cries of his friends, and the laughter of some unknown being cackling at their misfortune.
"Hello!"
The curtain that covered the back of a vast and empty stage began to slowly draw up and into the ceiling, revealing Felix dressed up in a suit jacket. He nervously adjusted the bowtie that was near his neck and grinned to the internet audience that was possibly reading/watching him.
"My name is Fix-It Felix Jr. from the game Fix-It Felix Jr. I have a really SUPER announcement to tell y'all!" Felix giddily announced.
"Do I really have to come out in this?" Ralph moaned off-stage.
"You don't have to if you don't want to Ralph." Felix whispered back.
"Alright, awesome! Let me just get my bags..." Ralph began to say as he attempted to take off his suit-jacket. Before he could even get a sleeve off, Vanellope ran up into the air and slapped him right across the face.
"Listen here Stink-Breath, the Candy Kingdom paid good money to make these jackets, and you're GONNA wear these jackets." Vanellope snapped, putting her hands on her hips.
"Jelly-Brain." Ralph muttered as he sulked onto the stage.
"Jelly-Belly-Brain!" Vanellope slyly whispered back, causing Ralph to almost run back and strangle the little troublemaker. He let out a deep breath and walked over to center stage beside Felix. Raising one of his comically large hands, he looked at the entire 3 paragraph long speech that was written out on his palm.
"Yes. For our... announcement- it's announcement, right? Yeah, it's announcement. Anyways, we're accepting cameo submissions through Pokeyking's private messages. If you, a friend, or even an inanimate object would like one of your slash it's favourite character to appear in this fan fiction, send away! He won't be accepting everything, but be pleasantly surprised because he wants this to be just as fan-pleasing as the movie is. Thank you." Ralph drones out in a monotone voice, even having to squint to read his own muddled handwriting.
Ralph does a little bow as Felix politely claps for him.
"Very well put Ralph!" Felix nods.
"Hehe, well thank you, it's just" Ralph began to say.
"Hey Genius, you still have more stuff to say!" Vanelloped cried from off-stage.
"I abridged it!" Ralph growled, making a fist and slamming it into Felix. He smashed right into the floorboards, his head sticking out like a wack-a-mole.
"Jimminy..." Felix moaned, slowly rotating his head.
"Oh man, Felix!" Ralph gasped, rushing to his friend's aid. As he tried to cup a hand around his head to pull him out, the boards around Felix's head snapped and sent the little hero plunging under the stage. Right before Ralph plunged into the hole to save him, he heard a familiar DING, and Felix suddenly jumped out of the hole while holding his hammer, suspended in mid-air.
"I can fix-it!" He triumphantly cried. His celebration was short lived, however, as he quickly plunged right back into the hole with a thud. Ralph went to say something, but quickly retracted it. Vanellope walked beside Ralph and patted him on the leg.
"He had a good run." She deadpanned.
"Can someone get me a ladder?" Felix groaned. This was another situation that he really couldn't fix.
"Graaaah!" Ralph growled as he tossed a chunk of Rallen's house at the ever-swarming crowd of Orks. Ever since Ralph had accidentally wrecked a hole in Rallen's house, he had just been tearing it bit by bit and throwing it at the creatures to try and slow them down. Rallen winced as another piece of his beautiful shelter was torn apart. Ironically, it was for their own protection. The piece toppled over the entire crowd of the Orks causing them to disintegrate in place. Ralph grabbed another chunk and prepared to chuck it as the Orks quickly respawned back into position.
"They keep respawning Ralph, this really has no point..." Rallen sighed. An Ork that had snuck up on the two suddenly roared and raised a fist to try and crush Rallen. Before Ralph could react, Rallen had already sliced the Ork in two with his sword. Off in the crowd of Orks, the same Ork respawned back, grinning and pointing at Rallen.
"I could be wrong, but that was probably a bad idea." Ralph said solemnly, tossing the chunk at the Orks again.
"Could is an overstatement. Seriously though, why did you have to come in here!"
Ralph turned over to look at Rallen and put a hand around his back. Rallen tensed up a little and looked over at Ralph.
"When I was having trouble with my job, you know, being a bad guy, I really didn't know where to go. There aren't any good anons in the building... so why else would you have come down to the meeting?" Ralph explained, causing Rallen to gasp slightly and bow his head.
"Yeah..." He muttered under his breath.
"I can tell that you hate your job. I mean, this... excuse me for a moment-"
Ralph thrust his hands into the floor of Rallen's house and pulled up a huge amount of tiles. With a loud heave he tossed them all into the Orks, again causing them to respawn.
"Is a pretty crappy job." Ralph chuckled slightly. Rallen opened his mouth to make a come-back, but shook his head. He couldn't find a reason to defend his job.
"I mean... the people in this town love me, they do. And I like that. But, I really wish I could be a hero without having to live in mortal terror." He quietly admitted. Ralph's face softened, and he gave Rallen a little pat on the back.
"Well, I wrecked your game just to hear that, I suppose I owe you an apology as well. I'm sorry."
"Darn right you are." Rallen grimaced.
"Why don't these guys just leave the game anyways? I'm sure they don't want to live in here forever, maybe that's why they're always trying to destroy the village!" Ralph suggested. Rallen suddenly froze and began to frantically point behind Ralph.
"I know this routine. They're right behind me... man, ALRIGHT, do your worst!" Ralph groaned, putting his hands up in the air. He turned around and let out a little yelp as a helmet came across his face and whacked him to the side.
"Listen Ralph, going Turbo once is enough, but twice? I ought to enlist you into my squad and discharge you right off of the tower!" Sgt. Calhoun furiously snapped.
"Tammy!" Ralph smiled. His smile was swiftly met with another helmet to the face. As he wiped his cheek from the pain, he leaned over to see a happy-looking Felix standing behind Calhoun.
"Hey Brother!" Ralph grinned, giving Felix a little wave. Felix went to wave back but quickly crossed his arms and put on a fake scowl.
Q*Bert hoped over beside Felix and saluted Ralph with his mouth.
"$%$@@$@$. @$^&$#^%! ^&$&^$.... ^%&^^, (*&^%$#^. ^%$#$%^$%#, $%$$^$^%$^. $%$^. &^%&^." Q*Bert said to Ralph. Tamora looked down at her translator. To her shock, it didn't even know what Q*Bert had said.
"Not now brother, we're both very very upset-" Felix began.
Calhoun nudged him with her knee.
"Angry-"
Q*Bert kicked him in the foot.
"Incredibly mad at you!"
There was an awkward silence as everyone slowly turned their gaze over to Calhoun, who was the only one who seemed to actually have a reason to be upset at Ralph. While he had game jumped, there was nothing wrong with game jumping into other games during after hours. If anything, no one should be mad at Ralph!.
"Excuse me..." Rallen began to say, pointing towards the area with the Orks.
"Not now Rallen. Look, Tammy, I'm really sorry that I left my game and everything because I can and I didn't do anything wrong. So very very sorry." Ralph apologized, faking every word that he said, "But we have to help these people, everyone here is in terrible danger!"
Felix looked around the seemingly empty village. It didn't seem to be in trouble.
"People..." Rallen began again.
"Not now Rallen." Ralph snapped back. Rallen plugged his ears and began to pace back and forth. He still hated it when people repeated themselves.
"Listen Ralph, where do you think Mr. Litwak could have afforded to buy a game like Hero's Duty." said Calhoun, who menacingly leaned in to Ralph, causing him to gulp. Felix hoped over beside the two and raised an ear to listen, and Q*Bert jumped onto Felix's head so he could listen too.
"The seller was insane?" Ralph shrugged. Calhoun shook her head and looked over at Rallen who was still frantically pointing to the Orks.
"It was a bargain sale! Holy Hotcakes, use your brain pixel-head!" Calhoun growled, threatening to hit Ralph again with her helmet, "Hero's Duty came from the same arcade as this one did! Where else would you think that Mr. Litwak was getting all of these new hot-shot games. Greetings Rallen."
"Hi Tamora, but but but," Rallen stuttered.
"No coconuts Caliber, this is serious business." Said Calhoun. She looked over to where Rallen was pointing and didn't see anything standing there. She shrugged casually, but Ralph gasped and put his massive hands over his head.
"They're gone!" Ralph cried.
"I've been trying to tell you that for the past 5 minutes!" Rallen snapped.
"Anything you need fixing Mr. Caliber?" Felix asked politely. Q*Bert bowed his head and let out a @@$!.
"Tamora, you remember the Orks, don't you?"
"Darn right I do, those piggish pigeon brains... almost as mindless as a cold, dirty Cy-Bug." Calhoun said while gritting her teeth.
"Well, a whole group of them were standing right over there, and now they're gone!"
Everyone else turned around to see the area that Rallen was talking about, but suddenly froze to feel the hot breath of something running down their neck.
"Now they're behind me, right?" Ralph quietly sighed to Rallen. Calhoun let out a battlecry and began to blast the whole crowd of Orks with her gun, causing bits and pieces of Ork body parts to fly all over the heroes and drench them in goop that would quickly pixelate away. Calhoun panted and put her gun back into the holster, but gasped to see that all of the Orks had respawned back to their original position.
"Holy Pizza-Topping," Calhoun gasped in horror, "I forgot about that part."
"Yeah, heh heh. I wonder if they even know they've been plugged in!" Rallen chuckled.
"We've been WHAT!" An Ork who was trying to ambush them again from behind cried. Rallen winced slightly and looked away from all of the evil glances that he was getting from Ralph and the others. Before anyone could respond, a giant black cloak of darkness blanketed the group in a second. Ralph tried to struggle, but found that the more he moved, the less he could move. All he could hear were the cries of his friends, and the laughter of some unknown being cackling at their misfortune.
"Hello!"
The curtain that covered the back of a vast and empty stage began to slowly draw up and into the ceiling, revealing Felix dressed up in a suit jacket. He nervously adjusted the bowtie that was near his neck and grinned to the internet audience that was possibly reading/watching him.
"My name is Fix-It Felix Jr. from the game Fix-It Felix Jr. I have a really SUPER announcement to tell y'all!" Felix giddily announced.
"Do I really have to come out in this?" Ralph moaned off-stage.
"You don't have to if you don't want to Ralph." Felix whispered back.
"Alright, awesome! Let me just get my bags..." Ralph began to say as he attempted to take off his suit-jacket. Before he could even get a sleeve off, Vanellope ran up into the air and slapped him right across the face.
"Listen here Stink-Breath, the Candy Kingdom paid good money to make these jackets, and you're GONNA wear these jackets." Vanellope snapped, putting her hands on her hips.
"Jelly-Brain." Ralph muttered as he sulked onto the stage.
"Jelly-Belly-Brain!" Vanellope slyly whispered back, causing Ralph to almost run back and strangle the little troublemaker. He let out a deep breath and walked over to center stage beside Felix. Raising one of his comically large hands, he looked at the entire 3 paragraph long speech that was written out on his palm.
"Yes. For our... announcement- it's announcement, right? Yeah, it's announcement. Anyways, we're accepting cameo submissions through Pokeyking's private messages. If you, a friend, or even an inanimate object would like one of your slash it's favourite character to appear in this fan fiction, send away! He won't be accepting everything, but be pleasantly surprised because he wants this to be just as fan-pleasing as the movie is. Thank you." Ralph drones out in a monotone voice, even having to squint to read his own muddled handwriting.
Ralph does a little bow as Felix politely claps for him.
"Very well put Ralph!" Felix nods.
"Hehe, well thank you, it's just" Ralph began to say.
"Hey Genius, you still have more stuff to say!" Vanelloped cried from off-stage.
"I abridged it!" Ralph growled, making a fist and slamming it into Felix. He smashed right into the floorboards, his head sticking out like a wack-a-mole.
"Jimminy..." Felix moaned, slowly rotating his head.
"Oh man, Felix!" Ralph gasped, rushing to his friend's aid. As he tried to cup a hand around his head to pull him out, the boards around Felix's head snapped and sent the little hero plunging under the stage. Right before Ralph plunged into the hole to save him, he heard a familiar DING, and Felix suddenly jumped out of the hole while holding his hammer, suspended in mid-air.
"I can fix-it!" He triumphantly cried. His celebration was short lived, however, as he quickly plunged right back into the hole with a thud. Ralph went to say something, but quickly retracted it. Vanellope walked beside Ralph and patted him on the leg.
"He had a good run." She deadpanned.
"Can someone get me a ladder?" Felix groaned. This was another situation that he really couldn't fix.
And we have a 5!
Seriously though, send in cameo ideas. Even if they don't end up making it into the story, I'll try and add in references to the game series in the story! Story!
Seriously though, send in cameo ideas. Even if they don't end up making it into the story, I'll try and add in references to the game series in the story! Story!
© 2012 - 2024 pokeyking
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This is flipping amazing! May I suggest a cameo of Wheatley? As in from Portal 2.